a tribute to john christian almodal blanco.

when i die and this blog gets published for the whole world to read, everyone would know how much i appreciate you.

what a night. god knows how long this has been haunting my sleep. i feel so much better now that someone else knows. thank you.

thank you for listening... for being patient while i fought to open up.

thank you for being careful with your words so as not to hurt me. i know how difficult it is to point my faults out to me without making my tears fall.

thank you for being honest... for trying not to let the bias of our friendship meddle with the point you were driving at.

thank you for making me realize that what i've done doesn't make me the worst person in this planet... coz that's who i thought i was in the past months. thank you for showing me that i'm not the only one who made that mistake. thank you for trusting me with yours.

thank you for reassuring me that even after tonight, i will still be the same friend whom you've known since the start of college. thank you for not judging me.

thank you for opening my eyes to the reality that i've been trying not to face. i was scared. and i still am... i don't think the fear will ever subside. but i promise you, i will face this with open heart and mind.

it's hard to say this without the notion of having romantic motives, but i love you, and i mean it. my actions may suggest otherwise, but really, i do. it's a love-hate relationship, you and me. it's called sadistic love. i sadistically love you, jeebs. you're one friend i wouldn't trade for anything in this world. :)

hug nalang beh... or kiss in the dark! OR BOTH?
ay basig naai magselos! heeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :D

twenty-four and more

blissful yet pensive

reliving it to no avail

bright yet willingly blinded

its beauty isn't seen but felt

dreaming yet wide awake

and hoping never to fall asleep

perfect yet concealing

because it's bound to go wrong

returning yet long gone

and the other waits quietly

wanting yet not hoping

for is it even worth the risk?

dish out your kleenex

At this moment,

there are 6,470,867,671 people in the world.

Give or take a few.

Some are running scared.

Some are coming home.

Some tell lies to make it through the day.

Others are just not facing the truth.

Some are evil men at war with good.

And some are good struggling with evil.

Six billion people in the world.

Six billion souls.

And sometimes,

all you need is one.

-one tree hill

it's funny how at times i look back and realize i've changed so much through the years. i used to be so attached with certain people and tried hard to keep them in my life. that probably explains why i have whom i believe the best friends the world could ever give me... and the same reason why i get badly hurt everytime someone leaves. i'm not sure if the benefits weigh more. i'm not even sure i could say i'm better now that i've changed.

stronger, maybe, but not necessarily better.

well, at least i can stand on both my feet now.

but sometimes, i just miss being...

hmmm what's the right word?

vulnerable? needy?

okaaay, i sound so pathetic. :P

it's just that being so strong-- the kind of "strong" that makes you think you can do everything on your own-- can be lonely. sometimes, it takes to lower one's fences to realize it feels great to be dependent at a reasonable level... not too clingy yet not too distant.

i miss highschool when i had frances...

i miss my first year in college when i had kimbs...

i miss second year when i had john...

i miss summer when i had jorge...

i miss not being too independent.

i miss choosing not to keep my troubles to myself.

i miss crying when i felt i've had too much.

but i'm stronger now... and like i said, strong can sometimes be lonely. but does it have to?

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