on love and wishful thinking.

he was walking me home one afternoon when he told me in life, it's either you have it or you don't...that simple. there are no what if's.

yesterday was valentine's day.

it's never been my favorite day of the year. i abhor bringing flowers to class coz i didn't like the idea of conceding to a lie that everyone else choose to believe once every three hundred something days. i don't know. maybe i never had a reason to celebrate it.

nah.

a few months back, i actually had one good reason to look forward to valentines. yet still, i didn't want to succumb to the overrated knocks on the door in the middle of class to make surprise haranas na may pa-roses2x pa. oh camon mamon, that's just worth one crispy kaching in your wallet snagged by celadon people from you. (such capitalists.) hello little boy, how generic can you get!

cole's philosophy #1
if you love someone, everyday is a reason in itself to celebrate with him.

...and by celebrating, i don't mean taking out the kaching to the infinite power. i've always delighted in small things. i imagined this valentine's day to be like any other thursday. then again, it has always been my favorite time of the week. (thursday night=movie night with t-rex!) and i thought God had pulled some strings for this year's valentines to fall on the exact same day. i thought to myself: that way, we wouldn't be breaking any rule.

well, i guess he's right. holding on to what if's and what could have been's is pointless. it's either you have it or you don't.

and i don't.

so why still choose to be pointless. no... i don't mean the shallow what if's of valentines. (i still hate mushy gifts, by the way.) why do i choose to be pointless by holding on to what could have been's of my past? and the more i try to convince myself i am apathetic, the more i become involved with the feeling.

remind me again why i can't keep you,

coz it seems i always choose to forget.