it's the cheese!

currently eating: jolly biscuit wrapped in cheese.

waaaah!!! it's these times when i miss my brothers!

i miss eating jolly biscuits with cheese or cheet-os with nutella and still feeling normal.
i miss being crazy and still looking sane.
i miss saying stupid things and still making perfect sense.

...because they always have something more luud to eat.
...because their insanity is incomparable.
...because nothing ever beats their stupid thoughts.

i can't wait to go home!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

ughhh

ataya uy! makalagot na kaayo si berting... TWICE na ning hang ang ms word nga wala nako na save. aaaah!!!! gisapot na ko : piskot!

berting, i swear i'll smash you if you fail me again!

i'm scared

...that i might never be able to let go.
...that i might not be able to love.
...that i might just look for someone in everyone.
...that i might again be vulnerable.
...that i might once more be hurt.
...that i might hurt the people who love me.
...that they might make me feel so happy.
...that they might treat me like i'm the most important person in the world.
...that i might give them nothing but false hope.
...that the next might be only because i want to forget.

bring me back to December 14, 2007... and don't let the morning come ever again.

random survey from friendster

RULES:
1.) You can only say Guilty or innocent
2. ) You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks! (So people reading this, if you want an explanation...message that person)

Danced on a table in a bar?- innocent
Ever told a lie?- guilty
Had feelings for someone whom you can't have ?- guilty
Kissed a picture?- innocent
Slept in until 5 PM?- guilty
Fallen asleep at work/school?- guilty
Stole something?- guilty
Held a snake?- gulity
Been suspended from school?- innocent
Worked at a fast food restaurant?- innocent
Sang karaoke?- innocent
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?- guilty
Done something you regret?- guilty
Made out and got caught?- guilty
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?- guilty
Caught a snowflake on your tongue?- innocent
Kissed in the rain?- guilty
Sat on a roof top?- guilty
Been pushed into a pool with allyour clothes on?- guilty
Slept naked?- innocent
Made your boyfriend/girlfriend cry?- innocent
Been in a club?- guilty
Shot a gun?- innocent
Donated Blood?- innocent
Eat an alligator meat?- innocent
Eaten cheesecake?- guilty
Love someone you "shouldn't"?- guilty

blockfromheavenQQ

JOLLIBEE HAPPY.

abi. jon. coco. chester. kathy. anjo. nikka. shanon. kiki. ervin. ken. erich. nikki. jr. tanya. julian. jorge.

(we miss you, krz and jez!)

tamang-tama! equal number of girls and guys na pala tayo. si jorge asexual so not counted. :D

check out my new theme song! haha! :)

The Nicest Thing
-Kate Nash

all i know is that you're so nice, you're the nicest thing i've seen
i wish that we could give it a go, see if we could be something.

i wish i was your favorite girl
i wish you thought i was the reason you are in the world
i wish my smile was your favorite kind of smile
i wish the way that i dressed was your favorite kind of style.

i wish you couldn't figure me out
but you always wanna know what i was about
i wish you'd hold my hand when i was upset
i wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met.

i wish you had a favorite beauty spot that you loved secretly
coz it was on a hidden bit that no one else could see
basically, i wish that you loved me
i wish that you needed me
i wish that you knew when i said two sugars, actually i meant three.

i wish that without me, your heart would break
i wish that without me, you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
i wish that without me you couldn't eat
i wish i was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep.

look, all i know is that you're the nicest thing i've ever seen
and i wish that we could see if we could be something
yeah i wish that we could see if we could be something.

****
this song is three thumbs up!!! i love you, tobol, for making me watch the video! :)

yes, it's beautiful.

lost love is still love. it takes a different form, that's all. you can't see their smile or bring them food or run your finger through their hair or move them around the dance floor. but when those senses weaken, another heightens-- memory. memory becomes your partner. you nurture it. you hold it. you dance with it.

-The Five People You Meet in Heaven

loving the quote beybeh :D wala lang, this may or may not be related to what's below.

john blanco, you never fail to punch some sense into my system! i would have crowned you The Great Jeeboy, but look at yourself:

DILI BAGAY MA-GREAT, JEEBS! haha peace.

so maybe sitting beside him isn't such a good idea if you want to learn something about the Philippine economy. yes, you learn bits and pieces when he's asleep, but that's just 7 minutes of information. HAHA.

well, i figured i'm not into our economy anyway. and besides, as ambeth ocampo had said, it's the useless facts of life that make it beautiful. AMEN.

just this afternoon, Jeeboy asked me if THIS is what i wanted... if i knew back in high school that this would be where i am now... is this? did i?

i've always dreamt of studying in the ateneo... in fact, i couldn't picture myself in any other school. but when i got here, i figured THIS wasn't exactly a dream-come-true. i had to leave the people, the place, the life i have grown to love.

then again, who's to say i couldn't be happy. somehow, in the course of being alone, forging new friendships, going into deeper ones and falling apart, i realized that love is a decision. one doesn't fall in love, he decides to. and when things go wrong, he decides whether he should stop loving or continue to love anyway. just as there is no such thing as falling in love, neither is there falling out of it.

after almost two years of calling myself an atenean, i'd say this wasn't really what i wanted. back in high school, what i wanted was to go to ateneo and bring along all my friends and family. how utopic and highschool-ish. but this time i could actually say that i love how things are.

no, i didn't stop loving the life i had then. in fact, it feels great to go back once in a while. i've just decided to love what i have now. it's beautiful, my life. not all good but beautiful.

2:57 pm 30Jan,08

i took this picture while waiting for my next class.

cole's philosophy #3

you paste people on the picture to give it life... and it's beautiful in whatever way you put them.

must. soundproof. my. corner. FAST.

nabungol na ko :( yabag kaayo... :( tarunga nalang ug kanta uy kung dili na nimo ma take. di ko ka concentrate nuun. bisan mag headphones ko, makadungug gihapon ko. :( :( :( daghan man kaha ka buhaton, pagtuun nalang pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

waaaaaah! Lord, SAVE ME! D:

smile and seem drunk. i don't care a tad bit.

everything's so light today. so light, in fact i couldn't feel my feet touch the ground!

it's weird, my friends say. honestly, it does feel weird. i haven't smiled this much for the longest time. and for even a longer time, i've been stuck with my past. i guess i've finally found the closure that i needed. thanks to the long walk home last saturday. it punctured my heart, but heck, who ever said the world is all sugar and spice.

i've been walking homebound since the start of the year. it was a rocky one, but finally, i'm home... i've never felt this safe.

we both deserve to be happy. things may not have worked out the way i dreamt them to, but it's all good... because beneath the failed love story is a friendship i wouldn't trade for the sweetest chocolate in the world! more than anything else, he is the best friend God has ever created! plus, he makes a good pet dinosaur. hitting two birds with one stone? i say even more!

so forget the hurts and the drama, i'm happy now. :) and this time, it's genuine. deymn the happiness, it's never felt this real.

here's a piece of my thought

you know how people say mothers are the heart of the family?

cole's philosophy #2
mine's so much more than that.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAMA! :)

on love and wishful thinking.

he was walking me home one afternoon when he told me in life, it's either you have it or you don't...that simple. there are no what if's.

yesterday was valentine's day.

it's never been my favorite day of the year. i abhor bringing flowers to class coz i didn't like the idea of conceding to a lie that everyone else choose to believe once every three hundred something days. i don't know. maybe i never had a reason to celebrate it.

nah.

a few months back, i actually had one good reason to look forward to valentines. yet still, i didn't want to succumb to the overrated knocks on the door in the middle of class to make surprise haranas na may pa-roses2x pa. oh camon mamon, that's just worth one crispy kaching in your wallet snagged by celadon people from you. (such capitalists.) hello little boy, how generic can you get!

cole's philosophy #1
if you love someone, everyday is a reason in itself to celebrate with him.

...and by celebrating, i don't mean taking out the kaching to the infinite power. i've always delighted in small things. i imagined this valentine's day to be like any other thursday. then again, it has always been my favorite time of the week. (thursday night=movie night with t-rex!) and i thought God had pulled some strings for this year's valentines to fall on the exact same day. i thought to myself: that way, we wouldn't be breaking any rule.

well, i guess he's right. holding on to what if's and what could have been's is pointless. it's either you have it or you don't.

and i don't.

so why still choose to be pointless. no... i don't mean the shallow what if's of valentines. (i still hate mushy gifts, by the way.) why do i choose to be pointless by holding on to what could have been's of my past? and the more i try to convince myself i am apathetic, the more i become involved with the feeling.

remind me again why i can't keep you,

coz it seems i always choose to forget.