i stick with yes.

i've always asked myself, would i have been happier if i chose otherwise?

do you know the feeling when you so badly want to turn back time and choose heads instead of tails?
...the feeling when you realize you should've planted roses instead of yellowbells?
...or uttered the whole truth instead of keeping it to yourself?
...or chose white over black?

sometimes when we're not happy where our decisions have brought us, we wish we could just close our eyes, count to ten, open them, and then find ourselves back to the moment when we were about to make a choice. we tend to believe that choosing otherwise would have made us better persons.

what we might have missed is that at least one person in this world lost because he chose heads... or got pricked by the thorns of his rose... or suffered because he said too much... or got stained for choosing white.

as for me, i realized there really is no turning back. the yes will always be a yes not matter what. i may have made it too easy for certain people to walk right in and out of my life, that i ended up getting hurt... but that isn't what really matters in a failed friendship.

i tag 'failed' along friendship to emphasize it had ended, but it was a friendship that once made me feel like i was God's favorite! and now that i realized God doesn't play favorites at all, i've convinced myself that every good thing has a price.

maybe pain was the price i had to pay.

but i am happy now. the hurt comes knocking on my door sometimes, but even if by any magic, i'm back to where i was about a year ago, i'd still let him in. after all, i could honestly say i'm stronger now. he made life too easy for me, and he left when my knees were too weak.

now i'm standing on my own. :)