a tad bit too different

After watching a couple of episodes of Scrubs, a thought hit me-- I wanna be a doctor. HAHA lame.

Well, not the "eh anong mapapala mo jan?" kind of lame but the one that goes, "gago, takot ka kaya sa dugo!" I don't know… there are just times when I think I want something because of a certain moving experience.

Like for instance, Mia and I were talking about her cousin Anya and my cousin Julian (such cute babies!) when all of a sudden, I thought, "I want a baby! NOW!" (… na parang magic lang ang gumawa ng bata.)

And then, probably the lamest, after listening to the song "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz, I thought, "I wanna be an artist!" (lame nga, artist daw ba?)… and it happened again after hearing "When the Day Met the Night" by Panic at the Disco and "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay. Haha.

So what's my point? Ewan. Hahaha… it's just that I find it funny that it's so easy for me to say I want certain things that sometimes, I'm no longer being rational. See… I want to be a doctor because the interns in Scrubs have the craziest lives, but I couldn't even afford to get myself a blood test (eek!). I want to have a baby because their baby hands and baby feet are so adorable, but I don't want to be pregnant now and have saggy tummy afterwards. I want to be an artist because it feels great to see people appreciating my works of art, but I'm too afraid of attention.

Siguro nga I don't want those things. Or maybe I want them, but I don't REALLY want them. You see, in one of the episodes of Scrubs, JD said, "Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy." I think I'd do anything to get the things that I really want. And the fact that I don't do anything to live out those dreams I've mentioned, and instead, allow them to rot in my romanticizing lazy mind only prove that they're not that important to me.

I guess I don't really want to be a doctor. What I really want is to be living my dreams in whatever line of work I'd get myself into in barely two years just as JD is doing in Scrubs.

Maybe I don't really want to have my own baby now. What I really want is a bottle of sunshine or a reason to be happy no matter what crap I am faced with.

And gawd, I don't think I really want to be an artist who gets all the attention. What I really want is to see the people who matter appreciate me for the things that I'm good at.

These are the things I'd do anything to have. These are what I REALLY want in my life. :)